“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”
Let’s talk about talking to someone.
Personally, I’ve been in and out of therapy for more than two decades. Over the last couple years, I’ve been deeply immersed in a weekly therapist-led men’s group — intimate game-changing sessions that have helped me work through deep-seated stuff that lives and breathes beyond 12-step.
We’re only as sick as our secrets. The path to healing and personal growth requires openly sharing our hidden struggles. Bearing our vulnerabilities. And allowing others to identify the blind spots that elude us.
My point is that we all need help. And as today’s guest will openly admit, even therapists benefit from therapy.
A Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, journalist and author, Lori Gottlieb writes the weekly ‘Dear Therapist’ column for The Atlantic. She contributes to several prominent publications including The New York Times. And she recurs as a mental health expert on a variety of national television and radio outlets including, The Today Show, Good Morning America, The CBS Early Show, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR’s ‘Fresh Air.’
In addition, Lori is the author of three books: Marry Him, Stick Figure and her latest, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, a fun and highly relatable romp behind the scenes of a therapist’s world. What it’s like to be a therapist. And what it’s like to be a therapist in therapy.
A hit that spent many weeks on The New York Times bestseller list, the book was listed as People magazine’s ‘Book of the Week.’ O magazine named it one of the ‘Best Nonfiction Books of 2019.’ And it’s currently being developed into a TV series with Eva Longoria.
This is a conversation about what happens when a therapist — someone specifically trained to understand what makes people do what they do — experiences her own personal crisis.
But it’s also a broader conversation about mental well-being in general. About the benefits of therapy. And why we can all better ourselves by talking to a professional.
In addition, we discuss the psychological impact of comparing ourselves to others. Healthy and unhealthy parenting practices. Repairing ruptured relationships. And many other topics.
I should note that I did my very best to resist making this a personal therapy session (not easy!).
As a final thought: if you are struggling in the darkness, don’t wait to talk to someone. If you’re afraid to shed light on that thing — whether it be anger, shame, addiction, resentment, depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts — don’t wait to talk to someone. Don’t wait until it’s a crisis. Find the courage. Reach out. raise your hand. Help awaits you.
I really enjoyed Lori’s company. My hope is that you find the exchange as entertaining and illuminating as I did.
Peace + Plants,
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- Connect With Lori: Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
- The Atlantic: Dear Therapist | Column by Lori Gottlieb
- New York Magazine: Articles by Lori Gottlieb
- The Atlantic: How to Land Your Kid in Therapy by Lori Gottlieb
- The New York Times: Behind the Cover Story: Lori Gottlieb on the Sex Lives in Peer Marriages
- The Washington Post: Over-parenting: Is it something only other parents do?
- Time Magazine: Is It Time to Stop Waiting for Mr. Right?
- Good Morning America: (video) ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’ author Lori Gottlieb
- Good Morning America: (video) Report Claims Equality Kills Romance
- The Today Show: Overbearing parents doom children to unhappy adulthood
- USA Today: Even therapists need therapists: Lori Gottlieb on being ‘less afraid to go and talk to somebody’
- Independent: `Ghosts in nursery’ haunt new parents
- NPR: A Psychotherapist Goes To Therapy — And Gets A Taste Of Her Own Medicine
- NPR: Can women indeed ‘have it all,’ and what does that even mean?
- NPR: Single Moms Make It Work
- YouTube: Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb On Why She Started Going To Therapy Herself | Larry King
- YouTube: Does an egalitarian marriage lead to less sex? | CBS This Morning
- YouTube: Lori Gottlieb: How to start a children’s book club | Sony Listens
- YouTube: Lori Gottlieb | The Bonnie Hunt Show
- YouTube: Waiting for Mr. Right? | CNN
Books by Lori Gottlieb:
- Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed*
- Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough*
- Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self*
Notable People Discussed:
- Susan David, PhD: award-winning Psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life* and podcast guest
- Eva Longoria: actress, producer, director, activist, and businesswoman
Related Podcasts You Might Enjoy:
- RRP #438: Lisa Damour, PhD On Parenting Teens Under Pressure
- RRP #356: Susan David, Ph.D On The Power Of Emotional Agility & Why Discomfort Is The Price Of Admission To A Meaningful Life
- RRP #282: Jessica Lahey On The Gift Of Failure
- RRP #396: KJ Dell’Antonia Wants You To Be A Better Parent
- RRP #400: Guru Corner: How To Raise A Conscious Child With Guru Singh
- RRP #317: Where Do You Thrive? Gretchen Rubin On Playing To Your Strengths & Building Better Habits
*Disclosure: Books and products denoted with an asterisk are hyperlinked to an affiliate program. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
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