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How To Cultivate Extraordinary Relationships & The Power of Neutrality In Navigating Conflict

By July 15, 2015May 24th, 20197 Comments

“Remember that you cannot control what happens to you. But you can control who you are in the face of what happens to you.”

Julie Piatt

I don’t how long we’ve been together — 17 years? 16? — but I do know that Julie and I just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. It’s been a wild, and at times astonishing ride.

So suffice it to say, the subject of relationships is on my mind.

So how does one attract, cultivate, nurture and sustain a relationship that isn’t just healthy and intimate but is in fact extraordinary?

This week’s installment of Ask Me Anything is devoted to just this issue.

This conversation explores:

  • the transformational aspects of relationships
  • destiny & fate in selecting a mate
  • human love versus divine love
  • prioritizing self-development
  • the primacy of commitment
  • the significance of complementary core values
  • the power of neutral compassion & observance
  • the practice of taking contrary action

Special thanks to Jeremy Bell for this week’s questions and Jason for his fan letter.

The show concludes with I’m Here Now, written and performed by Julie (aka SriMati), accompanied by our sons Tyler & Trapper Piatt.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the conversation.

How do you define an extraordinary relationship? Let me know in the comment section below.

Peace + Plants,


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Thank you to this week’s show sponsor, Harrys: a superior shaving experience at a great price delivered right to you. Type in my coupon code “ROLL” at checkout for $5 off your first purchase. After using my code, you can get an entire month’s worth of shaving for just $10. Start shaving smarter today!

Production, music & sound design by Tyler Piatt. Additional production by Chris Swan. Graphic art by Shawn Patterson. End song I’m Here Now written and performed by Julie Piatt (aka SriMati), accompanied by Tyler & Trapper Piatt.


Connect With Julie: | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Background, Context & Reference:

Notable People Discussed in today’s podcast:

Related Podcasts You Might Enjoy:

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  • Tommy F says:

    Happy 12th anniversary to my favorite POWER COUPLE. Great advise on navigating relationships. I think you touched on a very insightful aspect of where most relationships struggle and even break-down. The challenge in being able to identify, yield and resolve “core-values” which people clash over. We’re all on our own individual journey.. respecting our partner’s space to experience their journey, without demanding them to adhere strictly to our own set of core-values, is a sign of great spiritual maturity.. and the recipe for success in healthy relationships.


  • JasonRH says:

    Very open and beautiful discussion, thanks for sharing. I found the discussion of a relationship that has reached completion to be eye opening. It’s so true, we are led to believe that if you aren’t married for 60 years and don’t stay married until death then your relationship was a failure, it’s madness. It’s a refreshing way to approach relationships and life in general. I also found it enlightening to learn that Julie approached Rich for the first time even though he had his eye on her for months. Rich, come on dude! Ha.

    Really enjoying these ask me anything episodes. As a fellow podcaster, I know the effort each episodes takes from soup to nuts, so I just want to say that these extra ones are a very much appreciated bonus to an already awesome RRP. Can you post a link to the discussion you mentioned between you guys and James/Claudia Altucher?

  • A.hip says:

    What if you are willing to turn the spotlight on yourself and do your work but your partner is not capable or does not wish to do the same for themselves?

  • Angela says:

    I’m super excited to dig into this episode. We recently celebrated our 17th anniversary (July 4th) and it seems like things just keep getting better. The first few years were tricky, but as we’ve grown and expanded as individuals, our relationship has just got better. How would I define an extraordinary relationship? I’d say it’s one built on the foundation of respect.

  • Veronica says:

    THANK YOU THANK YOU both for sharing all this journey with us so authentically. With me. As I first went on a run & then sat on the beach watching the waves on a cloudy day and listened to you I was deeply moved and your song Julie at the end made me cry, cleansing tears. I’ve been married 22 years and remember my pre-married life veryy well so I could relate easily to many things. Also having younger and big kids. THANKS! Love to both from Sao Paulo 🙂 xoxoxoxox

  • Lisa says:

    It really touched me when Julie talked about falling in love with herself every time she falls in love. I know for me when I am in a relationship and I fall out of love with myself mostly because I put the other person first, my job is to find myself again and if my partner is right he will be happy and respect that.

  • muirpalmer says:

    “What’s more difficult about being alone?”. It’s obvious you’ve been in a relationship for a very long time, RR. I 100% agree you can’t hide your flaws when in a relationship and as the years add up, so do the challenging times. But when you’re in a relationship, you have a partner in life for most everything you do from the most trivial – someone to do the dishes – to the most rewarding & difficult – someone to co-parent with. Comparing being alone to being in a relationship is really comparing apples & oranges. When you are alone nothing and I mean NOTHING gets done unless you do it. From your taxes to your dirty laundry to your messy house to your grocery shopping, to paying the bills and more. And you are probably thinking, hey, when I was 25 life was sooo simple and I didn’t have much to manage – being alone was easy and FUN. That’s another misconception about being alone. When a 40- or 50-something person who has been in a relationship for 20 years (or even just 10), thinks longingly about being alone, they think it’s just like it was when they were young & single. Their concept of being alone is interpreted to a simpler life… Few bills, low overhead, parties every weekend, & few responsibilities. When you are 50 and alone it’s a whole other ballgame. I don’t want to sound like a martyr but just telling it like it is. If I don’t cook, there is no dinner. What if you didn’t have Julie experimenting in the kitchen all day and making you those wonderful plant-based meals every night? Would you even be plant-based? Who takes care of your daughters when you are globe-trotting solo? What if you were a single dad with no ex on the other side of town to co-parent with? I could go on & on. Shit gets REAL when you are alone and there is no one to give you a hug in the middle of the night, no one to make you a cup of tea, no one to binge watch Netflix with on a rainy Sunday, no second income, no sharing the cost of rent or the mortgage, no one waiting for you after a long day at work. #YouAreBlessed #MakeItWork

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