rich roll

I’m home a week now since the conclusion of EPIC5. 5 ironman-distance triathlons on 5 different islands of Hawaii. And all in less than a week. Ironman meets the Amazing Race. What a strange, crazy, exhilarating, exhausting and uplifting trip it has been. I plan to post full day-by-day recaps soon, but before the full report, I wanted to check in to share a few brief thoughts in the wake of what was truly one of the greatest, most amazing experiences of my life. The word “epic” is often bandied about with increasing disregard in our modern vernacular, but in all honesty, it really is the perfect — and only — word that fully describes the experience.

In short, the distances were vast, the travel was brutal and the sleep deprivation provided new horizons for me. But when the dust settled, Jason and I accomplished what we set out to do. And then some. Other than being born, getting sober, meeting my wife, and the birth of my children, it was simply the greatest experience of my life.

On the physical plane, I met myself in unchartered waters wildly beyond my expectations. Not a “race” per se, the only goal was to complete the distances each day TOGETHER. Because we were out enjoying the Islands and not “pinning it”, we had some assurance that we would be able to bounce back each day for another bout on another island. But in counterpoint, this meant that we were out in the heat and wind much longer each day than we would be had we pushed it a bit harder. And this translated into progressively less rest each day and most importantly, far less sleep. It definitely all caught up to us on Maui, where I was forced to dig as deep as I have ever dug to complete that day, fueled by only 2-4 hours of sleep on each of the 3 previous nights. The physical fatigue was compounded by the daily inter-island travel, which required us to lug 9 (most overweight) bags of gear and nutrition plus bikes through airports, always rushing to catch a flight. Our crew chief Rebecca Morgan was our angel, always getting us where we needed to be. But she was our only permanent sherpa and could only do so much. Either we would fly at night after a full ironman, only to hit the hay well into the wee hours with an early alarm looming; or we would fly in the morning, hauling gear for hours before commencing the day’s ironman well into the day and already drained. Suffice it to say that I definitely underestimated the significant fatigue the travel would present.

On the mental plane, the challenge was to remain relaxed and enjoy the experience in the face of many daily obstacles, some of which seemed insurmountable. The best example of this was dealing with bike mechanical issues in Oahu. Commencing the Day 1 ironman on Kauai at 3:45am, we completed it at the airport with only minutes prior to the last flight to Oahu that day. We literally had less than 10 minutes to pack up everything in our trashed crew van, including disassembling our bikes and securing them in travel boxes. It was insanity, but we made our flight with literally only 2 minutes to spare, both Jason and I still wearing our dirty smelly bike kits for the flight. Then my bike failed to arrive, requiring a late night getting pushed even later as we awaited its arrival. Asleep by 1am and up at 5, we began putting our bikes together only to discover that in our bike packing haste, we BOTH were missing a very unique seat post clamp piece necessary for securing our seat posts in our bike frames — the same tiny piece missing on both bikes! What are the odds. Not to mention the fact that this is a piece native only to our Specialized Transition bikes – not a part you can find at just any bike shop. If we could not find 2 replacement clamps in stock from a Specialized dealer in the area, we were in peril of being unable to complete Day 2. It required extreme patience to solve this issue that morning, pushing our start that day almost to the afternoon. But with the help of our local crew volunteer Rex Vicek and Rebecca, we were able to get it resolved and complete the Day — far later than we planned, but still a success. Had we been on any island other than Oahu or the Big Island, we would have been out of luck for sure. The lesson was that we were being cared for. Someone was looking out for us. And that a huge part of this experience was embracing the obstacles rather than fighting them — in Jason’s always optimistic words, “That’s why its called a challenge!”. In being forced to “let go” and surrender to whatever we faced, we became stronger humans, empowered to mentally handle what seemed like extreme obstacles with some degree of grace.

But the most memorable and gratifying aspect of the epic journey occurred firmly on the spiritual plane. At all times, Jason & I felt the love of not only the Islands and their beautiful people and spirit of Aloha and Ohana, but the support of greater forces at work. The Kahunas and Universe beyond was definitely smiling upon us at all times, conspiring to elevate us beyond our limits. On every island, droves of people came out to crew and support us, taking precious (and copious) time out of their day to help us achieve our daily goals. Not to mention all the people that turned up out of the blue to swim, ride and run with us. On Kauai, we had the absurdly enthusiastic “Johnny Rocket” as our bike sherpa all day, pumping his fist in excitement just to take part in the journey. On Oahu, we had half the local H.U.R.T ultra-running crew run through the night with us, many of whom ran the entire marathon, which we did not complete until 1am. In Molokai, Will was our bike sherpa, Coffees of Hawaii our red carpet resort & concierge (including private vegan chef!) and half the local school teachers our crew. And to top it off, a group of local kids joined us for the run, including little 7 year old C.J., who busted out at least 5 miles in the dark (often demanding my coconut water!), his family tagging behind in their mini-van. Maui was a zombie-fest, but we were elevated by cars honking their support, Paul Hopwood pacing us on the run and even a local tri stud who ran with us in his coat and tie after he got off work. Paul never left our side, running alongside us to the pre-dawn amidst burning cane fields. On our home turf of Kona for the final leg, we had 4x ironman champ Luke McKenzie run the first 8 miles with us, then return with his girlfriend Amanda Balding on scooters just to cheer us through our final 2 miles. Even Grant from Bike Works ran in the dark with us out on the Queen K in his tevas! And each night, I cut in to my precious sleep by checking my Twitter feed, stunned by the outpouring of support from across the globe – people cheering for us from afar, following online, thirsty for details and contributing to the Never Stop Foundation cause.

This is all a very long way of saying that we were tremendously supported by countless people and the spirit of the Islands and beyond. People who wanted to help. People who were touched by what we were attempting – a feat so many dissuaded us from even trying as a fool’s errand; a recipe for failure and embarrassment. At the end of the day, there is only one other person in the entire world who knows how I feel – and that is Jason Lester. And I think he would agree that fueled by the principal of “Let Go, Let God”, that in our own small way we were able to carry a powerful vibration of healing to each Island we visited. A message of service, unity, spirit and love. An accomplishment of the indomitable human spirit that we not just hope — but know — touched more people than we ever expected. And it feels great.

So many people to thank. Brian, Jake and the whole Zoot Sports crew for their gear and a belief in us so strong, they sent Molly Kline all the way out to Hawaii to cover the journey. Ian Dewar at Specialized Bikes for our speedy bikes and gear. Ascended Health (Compton) & Vega (Kelly & Brendan) for their endurance and recovery concoctions. James Gilbert for believing in us from the beginning, and tireless work on graphics, kit design and marketing. Squadra for our bike kits. Brett Blankner (Zen Triathlon) and Morgan Christensen who at a moment’s notice dropped everything and mocked up an amazing website that allowed people to fully engage in the experience from afar. Triathlon Lab and Bike Works for help beyond the call of duty. Coffees of Hawaii for red carpet treatment on Molokai, including our own plantation house and cook. The Bike Shop on Oahu for sorting out our mechanical issues. TJ Murphy at Inside Triathlon, Mark Johnson and the Competitor Group for their dedicated daily coverage of the event. And from Rebecca Morgan and the dozens of selfless crew who helped out on each island to the many people who financially and emotionally supported the journey – people like Greg Mattacola & John Callos. We thank and love you all. Without you this would not have been possible.

And of course to Jason Lester, who brainstormed this insanity and sold me on the idea of joining him. I love you my brother and I will never forget what you have done for me.

And finally, to the love of my life Julie Piatt and our children. Without you I am nowhere. Thank you for believing in me and supporting me with all of your hearts in the face of great adversity. Your strength and love are always with me.

I look forward to sharing the details of each day in upcoming posts. Until then, thanks for taking the time to stop by.

On May 5, 2010 Jason Lester and I will attempt to complete 5 ironman distance triathlons in 5 days on 5 Hawaiian Islands. We call it EPIC5.

Daunting? Yes.

But why? What is the point of this lunacy?

No, I am not insane. And its not a stunt. I actually do have an answer to this question, something I am getting asked pretty regularly these days.

For me, ultra-distance multisport isn’t about PR’s, winning races, Kona slots or race t-shirts. I have different motivations.

The first is internal. I love pushing myself. I love taking myself into unchartered waters, perilous uncomfortable situations where the result is unknown. Ultraman and EPIC5 serve this drive. To lay it all out and see what I’m made of. Physically yes, but far more important is take myself to task both mentally and spiritually. These events serve a wanderlust and my (possibly unhealthy?) need to push myself through limits and boundaries, both self-imposed as well as those placed upon me (and us) by cultural and societal constraints. Because its only when I am uncomfortable, afraid, failing or even falling apart that I have the greatest opportunity one can have — the ability to learn something about myself, grow from it and share it with others.

We live in a place and time where EVERYTHING is about comfort and ease. Our entire society is built upon removing obstacles & challenges; the goal being to live a life of leisure; free of stress, pain, hardship and struggle. The focus is keenly placed on the accumulation of “stuff”, most of which is specifically designed to make our lives “easier”, more comfortable, stress free. We are brainwashed into believing that flat screen TV’s, Hulu, car seat warmers, all-inclusive vacations, retirement, fast food, snuggies and designer pharmaceuticals for every conceiveable ailment, imagined or otherwise hold the key to happiness. Just watch TV for an hour — any channel — and the message is more than obvious. We are the most prosperous nation in the World and yet our “citizenship” has been comprehensively reduced to “consumerism”. A culture in which the primary challenge for the average american has become the drive to accumulate this “stuff”, or at least more than their friends and neighbors. Buy and ye shall be happy.

The result? We are more depressed, more obese, more sick, stressed and generally unhappy & unfulfilled than almost any other culture on the Planet.

Why? Because a life of ease, a life devoid of challenges, difficulties, failures and struggle does not equate to happiness. We have been deluded into this idea that we will be happy if we can just remove the stress. If we can get a bigger TV or a nicer car; a new job or just retire. Its become about escaping our realities. About “checking out”, But these things never ultimately relieve us, nor do they equate to a true sense of happiness. They never have and never will. Because at the end of the day we are still left with ourselves.

Maybe you haven’t noticed, but people are freaking out right now about the economy. Literally losing it. The current financial and political climate has polarized our nation in a way I have never before seen in my lifetime. People are terrified about losing what they have, or being preventing from getting what they “deserve”. Right or left, people are quite literally terrified; the result is turmoil and fear-based acting out on a mass level.

I am far from immune from these “real world” pressures. But I can honestly say I am not afraid. Because everything is an opportunity for growth and in my opinion this is the only thing that truly matters. I am not trying to minimize the problem. I have many. In fact, we are struggling mightily to save our home, forcing me to really evaluate my own ego attachment to things, my personal identification of who I “am” with what I “have”. But if we ultimately lose our house, the only important question becomes — how can I grow from this experience?

Embrace the struggle. Welcome it. Step into it. Put yourself on the line. Because he who avoids it all in search of consumerism comforts is only setting himself up for depression; a life unmoored and unfulfilled. A material hole that will never be full. Now that is true lunacy.

And whatever the result, positive or negative, take what happens, learn something about yourself and apply it next time. Grow.

True happiness is an inside job. One that is forged through struggles, challenges and failures as vehicles for personal growth, self-knowledge and ultimately personal fulfillment. This is hardly a new concept, and yet eludes most people. Intellectually we understand this to be the case and yet all too often shirk away, slinking back into our illusory zone of comfort. A world of conforming to societal expectations, doing what were told. Buying stuff and keeping quiet.

And yet how can one be blamed when we are saturated with messages from Madison Avenue and beyond that a life of ease and material wealth holds the key? This sense of “security” and well-being we are promised is illusory and false. Its my opinion that the predominant American lifestyle leaves us feeling empty, lost, desperate and depressed. A cycle that drives us to then further escape whether by food, television, video games, alcohol, drugs or relationships. The vicious cycle is self-perpetuating. The hole doesn’t get filled — it just gets deeper.

I know this because I’ve been there. I have decades under my belt of medicating myself in every conceivable way. I may not be a pro athlete, but I am a former pro at “checking out” – a path that took me to some very dark and desperate places. But somehow I got out. I consider the greatest blessing of my life as taking a stand against this. With respect to things I cannot control, I have learned to surrender. And with respect to things I can control, I have chosen to struggle in search of not just growth and self-knowledge but also greater personal meaning in my limited days on this Planet.

By way of a small example, I love the fact that I crashed my bike during Ultraman, relinquished my lead and had to struggle mightily just to complete the remaining day and a half of the event. It wasn’t my plan and I was not happy about it at the time. I was compelled to surrender. And as such I learned more about myself, who I am and what I am capable of through that experience that I could have imagined. And by prevailing, I became a stronger person, set a better example for myself, my children and hopefully others. For this I am eternally grateful; I wouldn’t change a thing.

EPIC5 is just another quest to get uncomfortable, attempt something I honestly don’t know I can achieve. Its about trying to learn something about myself and hopefully inspiring maybe just one other person to seek greater meaning in his / her life.

And at the end of the day, the attempt is pursued with the goal of raising funds on behalf of Jason’s Never Stop Foundation, which seeks to provide the kids of Kona with an opportunity of realizing their potential through athletics. In other words, there is no losing. Its a win no matter what happens.

I hope you join me along the way and find something in your own life to pursue that scares you, makes you uncomfortable and challenges you. Something that even in failure will give you the feeling of wholeness I have been blessed to experience.

Let’s fill that hole. Together.

Click HERE to check out this piece on me in Outside Magazine’s online blog. Thanks Heidi Volpe for the great writeup!